Some of my thoughts and musings on faith, life and ministry. All that is posted here are of my own opinions and do not necessarily represent any organisation, church or ministry that I am a part of/affiliated with. 

Signs That You Should Let A Friendship Go (Part II)


I wrote a on some signs on when we should consider letting a friendship go, here is part two:



Have a friend that only calls you when they need something? A friend in need is a friend indeed. You will only hear from them if they want something from you or they want to sell you something. The minute they get what they were looking for from you, it is as if you never existed to them - until the next time they need something again.

Friends should always be willing to help one another, but be cautious of the person who always have a hidden agenda. Be even more wary of friends who are not willing to extend any help to you in return when it is completely within their ability to do so. 



Nobody is perfect, and sometimes people let you down or even hurt you. While mistakes is sometimes seemingly beyond our control - apologising always is. There will be times in life when people say sorry not because they were at fault - but maybe the friendship just means more to them than their ego. 

If you have a friend like that, treasure him/her. If you are that sort of friend, you are precious to those around you. But those who refuse to ever take the blame - they are not worth having around (ESPECIALLY if they only blame you). 



Proverbs 11:13 (NIV)

13 A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Proverbs 25:19 (NLT)

19 Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble
is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot.

Trust is everything in a friendship! If you have a friend that is making it hard for you to trust him/her, it is time to reevaluate. Is he/she honest? Does he/she do what they say they will do? Can they keep your secrets? Can you count on them to be there for you when you are in trouble? 

If you are unable to confidently answer YES, time to move on! 



Proverbs 17:9 (ESV)

9 Whoever covers an offence seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

This is a major deal-breaker. The friend that constantly brings up your past failings or past arguments and uses them against you... why do you still have them around? A person that does this is most probably struggling with bitterness and unforgiveness, and true friends will resolve any conflict peacefully and let the past be the past. 


Every person comes into your life for a reason: some are blessings, others are lessons.

Signs That You Should Let A Friendship Go (Part I)


Having friends is an integral part of life, after all we are made to be in relationships. While some people enjoy being alone, nobody wants to feel lonely. However, having the RIGHT sort of friends is important as well. There comes a point in life where we have to let certain people go from our lives - and that is OK. How do we know that a friendship has already run its course? I suggest these signs:


Whether you are a Christian or not, your friends should always respect your values and principles. If you do not want to indulge in smoking/vaping, drinking, clubbing, gossiping, swearing (or anything really) but yet you have a friend or friend(s) constantly berating, mocking or making fun of your beliefs or even pressuring you to conform - it's a no go. 

Jokes and name-calling are quite common amongst friends - but there should be some boundaries. If you have a friend that frequently looks down on you (whether subtly or openly) via snide remarks, sarcastic comments, undermining statements - it's time to let go. 


Is your friend unreliable? Does he/she struggle with punctuality or consistently breaks plans at the last minute for no good reason? Speak to them openly about it, but if nothing changes you are better off being friends with someone who would actually respect your time. 

Do you find it very hard to get in touch with them? Do they not return your messages (SMS, Whatsapp, FB message, Emails etc) or calls? Do they give you promises of meeting up but no appointments or contact are made? Granted, sometimes people have busy schedules and we should not expect instant replies. But someone who values you will eventually get back to you and not leave you hanging all the time. 


Friends who fall into this category come in various packaging. There is the friend who is extremely sensitive: he/she is always picking on things that you do or do not do, or stuff you say or do not say. You feel like you are walking on egg shells whenever you are around them, and you have to watch your every move lest you upset them. They may even have a habit of constantly reading into things that are not necessarily there... how tiring!

Then there is the drama king/queen. Yes, it is healthy to talk about our problems and struggles. But there are some people who continuously moan and groan about their life and yet do not seem to be taking any positive steps in improving it; in fact they may even ignore sound advice that is given to them. They are perfectly happy to have you as their shoulder to cry on...forever. 

Then there are those who are EXTRA clingy. They want to know what you are doing, where you are at, who you are with... they get very jealous or offended when you are hanging out with other people and are hurt when you do not reply their text in under 30 seconds. Basically, they are not willing to give you your personal space. 


Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)

20 Walk with the wise and become wise;
associate with fools and get in trouble.
1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”


Do your friends seem to be divert you away from what you actually want to achieve? Maybe you want to focus on your studies, but your friends want you to fill your time up with computer games. Maybe you want to draw closer to God but your friend tells you church is a waste of time. Maybe you want to get fit but your friend is not willing to accommodate your preferences. Basically the friend that is keeping you from making positive changes is more of a harm than a help. 

Are your friends supportive of your choices and dreams? Friends should have the liberty to give us sound advice and correct us when needed - but it is entirely different when they spend every waking moment trying to discourage everything we want to do just because they have a pessimistic outlook on life. 

The people you surround yourself with will have a significant impact on your life. Even Jesus who had a heart for the masses spent most of his time with his select 12, and within that select 12 he had his inner circle (Peter, Andrew, John and James). 


You assimilate that which you associate with.


Something to think about... part II will come later.